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31st-Jan-2009 11:20 pm - Minimal shrinkage.
very!, very

I had the iv in my neck for the treatment on thursday and I had laser for 30 mins.Not very nice at all .  I've just stopped the barffs!!

I've posted to let you (my wonderful flist know) that Hey I see light at the end of the tunnel...MINIMAL SHRINKAGE is better than none ...Right?.

I hope the next part of this posts properly. You know I'm a doh.  Actually I think Chics might like this one.Keeping fingers X'd

It hasn't worked but there should be a stick drawing with a lady holding a pole. You will get the reply if you keep scrolling.*nods* you;ll get the scenario anyway.
 

 

 



 




--Forwarded Message Attachment--
From:
oangela9@hotmail.com
To: clncolinmac@aol.com; crashtest168@hotmail.com
Subject: FW: Homework
Date: Sat, 31 Jan 2009 07:43:25 +0000

 

 

 

Check your child's homework ...

cid:X.MA1.1226768479@aol.com

(Here's the reply the teacher received the following day)

 

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

 

I work at Wal-Mart and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Wal-mart.

 

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

 

Sincerely,
Mrs. Sheffield

 


To my Flist I don't know how you put up with me ?. Honestly I don't!! mwha from jassy..who! 

 


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26th-Jan-2009 12:50 pm - GOLD TEETH!
very!, very

Absolutely love this one....says it all.

        A beautiful fairy appeared  one day to a destitute refugee claimant

        outside the London immigration offices. 

        'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told to grant you three wishes,

        since you just arrived in England with your wife and three children.'

        The man told the fairy. 'Well,  where I come from we don't have good teeth,

        so I want new teeth,  maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the

        man's almost toothless grin and --  PING ! -- he had a brand new shining set

        of gold teeth in his mouth!

        'What else?'  asked the fairy, 'two more to go.'

        The refugee claimant now got  bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car

        garage in Knightsbridge with eight bedrooms for my family and the rest of my refugee

        relatives who still live in my  country. I want to bring them all over

        here..

        '  PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a

        three car garage, a  long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ and swimming pool in an upmarket

        neighbourhood.

        'One more wish', said  the fairy, waving her wand.  'Yes, one more wish.

        I  want to be like an Englishman with English clothes instead of

        manjams, and a baseball cap instead of this turban.

        And I want  to have white skin like an Englishman

      

 ' PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out jeans, a Chelsea T-shirt

        and baseball cap. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had

        disappeared from the horizon.

        'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house?'


        THIS IS GOOD  .......

[]


 


 


 


 
 





 

        The fairy said 'Tough luck, Now that you are English, you have to

        fend for yourself.'

        And she disappeared!



.
:

 

 



 
25th-Jan-2009 05:30 pm - And another!!!! LOL
very!, very
THis made me LOL..Heee

An  answer that only a child from Glasgow could think  of...

 

...From a Sunday School teacher based in Glasgow...!!
>
>


>  
>  


>

>
I was testing the  children in my local Sunday school class to see if they understood  the concept of getting to Heaven.
>

>
I asked  them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and  gave all my money to the church,
> would that get me  into Heaven
?'
>

>
'NO!'  the children  answered.
>

>
'If I  cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept  everything neat and tidy, would that get me into  Heaven?'
>

>
Again,  the answer was, 'NO!' By now I was starting to  smile.
>

>

>
Hey, this was fun!  'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the  children,
> and loved my wife  would that get me into Heaven
?' I asked them  again.
>

>
Again, they all  answered, 'NO!' I was just bursting with pride for  them.  
>  
>
Well, I continued,  'then how can I get into Heaven?'
>

>
A  six-year-old boy from Glasgow shouted out,
>  
>   
>
'YOU'VE GOT TAE   BE FUCKIN'  DEID'



25th-Jan-2009 04:31 pm - TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGEING!!!!!
very!, very

This made me stop and think.! Does it have the same effect on anyone else?.


 
 

SCHOOL -  1957 vs. 2007

Scenario
:

Jack goes rabbit shooting before school, pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.


1957 -
Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his rifle & chats with Jack about guns.

2007 -
School goes into lock down, Star Force called, Jack hauled off to jail  and never sees his ute or gun again. Counsellors called in for traumatized students and teachers.


Scenario
:

Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.


1957
- Crowd gathers. Mark wins.       Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2007 -
Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.




Scenario
:

Robbie won't be still in class, disrupts other students.


1957 -
Robbie sent to office and given 6 of the best by the Principal.  Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2007 -
Robbie given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie.  Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Robbie has a disability.




Scenario
:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.


1957 -
Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.

2007 -
Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.  Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison.  Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.




Scenario
:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.


1957 -
Mark gets glass of water from Principal to take aspirin with.

2007 -
Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations.  Car searched for drugs and weapons.  


Scenario
:

Pedro fails high school English.


1957 -
Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2007 -
Pedro's cause is taken up by state.  Newspaper articles appear nationally  explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist.

       AFRE files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher.. English banned from core curriculum.

       Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up  mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.  


Scenario
:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a bullant nest.


1957 -
Ants die.

2007-
Star Force, Federal Police & Anti-terrorism Squad called.  Johnny charged with  domestic terrorism, Feds investigate parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated,

       Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.


Scenario
:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee.  He is found crying by his teacher, Mary.  Mary hugs him to comfort him.


1957 -
In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2007 -
Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job.   She faces 3 years in Prison.  Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy
.



This should be sent to every e-mail address to show how stupid we have become!


Think about it!

.


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15th-Jan-2009 04:27 pm - It's Happened!! *sobs*
very!, very

Hi my lovely flist. *hugs*.      Yes! it's another 'jassy feels sorry for herself' post=(.Had 'the treatment' a few days ago ago and still barffing. The 'thing' had shrunk again so they think it's on the run. As long as it doesn't decide to shoot seeds elsewhere inside my body. I was jumping through hoops and I'm still thinking 'POSITIVE' but I woke up the next day and got out of bed and realised there was the right side of my hair on the pillow.*sobs*.

I thought I'd been very lucky for this not to have happened before now. Apparently this new treatment that is working on 'The Thing' is very 'aggressive' to get the fucking thing to shrink.

It's not totally bald but it looked like an old fashioned dolls head where when it lost any hair it was just in patches and left patches of glue,only I'm minus the glue. Anyway I was distraught. I know some of my flisters may have/had the same illness and side effects but I'm a 'Wuss'.I was advised to have what I have left cut very short,which I have. Everyone likes it . Unless they are just trying to make me feel better.I'd grown it to shoulder length. Now I feel/look like a bloke.

I'm stopping my whingeing now as I'm lucky I can still fight it. *nods*.  I passed out in the shop this morning and I should be in bed waiting for the doctor. I like to post because it reminds me I have a wonderful flist in my journal.
I've been trying my hand at writing and nullsys has betaed and helped me post them it's a little series Ziggys Tales about Ryan and his pet. I'm not pimping. I'm going to wait for the Doc and try to write somemore.It takes my mind off things.

For now I hope any poorly flisters are feeling better and all my other flist to keep safe and well. Cheeky enjoy yourself and give any of the other gals you meet,MY LOVE!!

*hugs,snuggies* flist.Take care everyone!!!!!  Mwha...x
2nd-Jan-2009 10:14 pm - HAPPY BIRTHDAY TEACHERTAM
very!, very

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TAMMY,     

             I'm a bad, bad Flister your day is nearly over.
         Better late than never and there oodles of hugs and mwha's coming your way.


I hope you get everything you wished for when you blew those candles out.xxx
31st-Dec-2008 10:03 pm - Happy New To my dear flist.
very!, very

A Happy New Year to my Dear Flist.


Thanks so much for your support throught 2008!

Here's hoping that 2009 is good to you all. *hugs* Mwha

http://www.findingjoymovie.com/

All the best for you always.

Jassylou  x
31st-Dec-2008 02:14 pm - HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONSMOM
very!, very

          HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONSMOM

Hope you have a great day you deserve it,for the enjoyment you bring to others.=)  Mwha   x

31st-Dec-2008 01:36 am - "Ziggy Tale 4"
very!, very
< td> post series final </td>< td> tale 1 | tale 2 | tale 3 </td>
title  Ziggy Tale 4
fandom  The OC
timeline 
beta 
a/n  As usual. What would I do without you nullsys?.
disclaimer  I don't own Ryan but I did have a dog like Ziggy when I was young.
previous 

Read more...Collapse )

25th-Dec-2008 11:01 pm - Nearly over:(
very!, very
Well that's it nearly over for another year. I'm absolutely'stuffed'.

Now if my flisters are anything like me?,next week I'll be saying I'm not going to spend as much next year.Pht! I always do it doesn't work *shakes head*

Because I'm feeling 'devilish' See below,

This is officially the beginning of the usual "Who gets the midnight kiss"? debate!! Stand in line girls ,behind me.Heee. Watch out for beachtree ! I think she's gained experience at 'queue jumping' in the January sales.

Don't even get me started on EL.Cheeky and Mel. You must have heard of 'dirty tactics'. I don't think those three are afraid to use them.LOL

This is it! I'm 'throwing down the gauntlet' get your affairs in order. Things Could turn nasty!!!!!!!!!!! LOL

*waves to Flist*D love you all *Bounces*


24th-Dec-2008 04:34 pm - Hee I'm home Merry Christmas.
very!, very
Hi I'm home I've just had a'Christmukkah' miracle.

Actually it's all down to my wonderful . flist and your well wishes Thankyou so much.
I arrived at lunch time at the hossy(no waiting around)They did 4 tests on me then booted me out.I think they got me out Quickly because I've got influenza and a water infection(always something else)

Now are you sitting comfortably?."Good!"

Remember when I told you that the tumour had gone down in size?.

"Well Guess What"!?.Yep it's half the size.Yeah fucking half the size. They said not to get too excited but all that barffing doesn't count now.

I'm feeling confident!! YaY1

Merry Christmas my wonderful Flist. I love you all xxx
very!, very
Hi my lovely Flist.I hope you're nearly ready for a wonderful Christmas time.? "All finished"?.

Here I am the 'Party pooper'.I've been 'horrendously' ill since my last treatment last thursday.I haven't stopped the barffing at all.The H/dresser refused to do my hair because last time I lost enough to make a doll a wig.It's a good job I have very thick hair,but I've grown it from a spikey one and a half inches to collar length and now the trouble has started.

I might be panicking but I may not be here for Christmas (No not croaked it!!) I just mean I won't be around LJ and I won't get to see the kids open their pressies.(that's my special time).

I've to go to the bank tomorrow with the help of a friend,go shopping for 4 last-minute gifts.Then I come home to wrap them all if I can because all my get up and go has got up and went.By all I mean 30/40 in total.Instead of wrapping them as I go,I have to wrap them all which takes me longer these days.
Has I've already said I might just be panicking but when I'm told to go in for "The Fucking Treatment" on Christmas Eve morning and take an packed bag it's not sounding too good,I've got to admit. I'm a 'wuss' and if they put me in my Mams bed again I swear I'll walk out on my own.

Anyway' ENUFF'!!
of my crap I want you all to have a whale of a time! *nods*
I'm going to try my hand at another Ziggy Tale while I'm in. I hope my FF writers on my flist have some waiting for me when I get home.

I think I 've said it all *nods* except*Shakes head*. How happy anf flattered I am to have such a wonderful caring Flist!! Please get up to lots of mischief and fun.You can tell me all  about it when I get back.

Tell the McKenzie guy he's that hot he melts the snow,and jassylou says "Hi Sweet Cheeks,Merry Christmas" and all the "Best for 2009" to all my flist especially the "poorly ones".

Love all of you:D Tons of hugs! And many more Mwahs *snuggles* *waves*


!DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF HOLLY!!"
very!, very
< td> post series final </td>< td> tale 1 | tale 2 </td>
title  THE NANA and MONSTER MOGGIE!!!!! ... Another Ziggy TALE
fandom  The OC
timeline 
beta 
a/n  As usual my thanks to nullsys. And to everyone that has taken time to read and comment. I thank you.
disclaimer  I don't own Ryan but I did have a dog like Ziggy when I was young.
previous 

WARNING: some harm to animals! (and contains smut)

Read more...Collapse )

14th-Dec-2008 11:09 pm - Happy Birthday Amanda!!!
very!, very

Happy Bithday Amanda.

You are getting these wishes early because they'll last longer.Hee(I won't get time ime before I go)

It's because I'm having 'you know what tomorrow'.I'll be thinking of you enjoying yourself.

This my only chance to say you deserve it,for being a really supportive friend to all of us and bring us laughs and pleasure into our lives.

You deserve a lot more of your own Sorry the 'main man' is a little to 'tied up' (wasn't me honest). I'm sure he'd send his love and best wishes along with my.

Have a 'very Happy Birthday' Chics....Mwah

very!, very

 

 


 
Something to think about.    
   
 
                  Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*

 
*Not a Christian was praying*

 
*Nor taking a stand.*

 
*See the PC Police had taken away,*

 
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*

 
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*

 
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*

 
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*

 
* December 25th is just a 'Holiday'.*

 
*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*

 
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*

 
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*

 
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *

 
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*

 
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*

 
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*

 
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*

 
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*

 
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*

 
*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-is-ty*

 
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*

 
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*

 
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton!*

 
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*

 
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*

 
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*

 
* Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*

 
*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*

 
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*

 
*So as you celebrate 'Winter Break' under your 'Dream Tree'*

 
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*

 
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*

 
*Shout MERRY CHRISTMAS ,

 
Not Happy Holiday!*



 
  
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6th-Dec-2008 11:50 pm - ZIGGY TALES
very!, very
AN:Thanks to nullsys for his never ending patience.I thought a little Ziggy series might be nice.

Disclaimer. I don't own any characters human or otherwise.Fuck!



< td> post series final </td>< td> tale 1 </td>
title  Maybe it's a breed thing? ... Another Ziggy TALE
fandom  The OC
timeline 
beta 
a/n  Be patient it's my first attempt at fic. All mistakes are mine!
disclaimer  I don't own Ryan but I did have a dog like Ziggy when I was young.
previous 

Read more...Collapse )

5th-Dec-2008 11:32 am - HAPPY BIRTHDAY RYANFOREVER!!!
very!, very





   HAppy Birthday Julie.
                                       I hope it's still the 5th in Aussie.

                                              
                                                     Champers.choccies.flowers and Ben coming your way!!

                 Luv Ya Doll XXXXX

Have a great one!!!!!
very!, very
Good morning flist,I hope you are all well.It's great for me because the Barff's stopped through the night.

Only thing is the Barffs stopped and then the snow began to fall."Unbelievable".We got 3 inches in my part of the UK.It's effing freezing.So I thought I should warm up with a chuckle. I'm back to hossy on Friday so not a lot to look fwd to this week-end. Some of these chuckles you might have seen befor.Intothedust likes them when I post them.
These should warm us 'Brits' up.

THE WHYS OF MEN!!

*************************
1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX
(because they are plugged into a genius)
----------------------------------------------
2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?
(they don't have enough time)
-----------------------------------------------
3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?
(they don't stop to ask directions)
-----------------------------------------------
4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?
(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)
-----------------------------------------------
(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)
-----------------------------------------------
5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?
(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)
----------------------------------------------
6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?
(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)
-----------------------------------------------
7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?
(don't know.....it never happened)
-----------------------------------------------
( C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)
-----------------------------------------------
And the personal favorite:
8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?
(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
-----------------------------------------------
Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and laughter in your heart...Then you are just an old sour fart!
-----------------------------------------------
One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweat-shirt sec onds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma '
And they say blondes are dumb...
---------------------------------------------
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, 'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies, 'I'll miss you...'
-----------------------------------------------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied...
-----------------------------------------------
Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor
------- ---------------------------------------
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN
----------------------------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.
----------------------------------------------
Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
*waves to Flist* Hugs to keep warm *nods*
k.k:shutting up (g)
1st-Dec-2008 01:00 am - HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHAL.
very!, very
I hope you had/have a wonderful day.

I'm sorry I don't know the time difference between us.

All the same,You weren't forgotten.

Bunches of Hugs, Happy Birthday mwah xx
29th-Nov-2008 12:48 am - Jasslous first fic
very!, very
< td> post series final </td>
title  Ziggy
fandom  The OC
timeline 
beta 
a/n  Be patient it's my first attempt at fic. All mistakes are mine!
a/n  MY many thanks to my friend nullsys for giving me the nudge of support and the courage to try my hand at my first fic. Thanks you're the man!!
disclaimer  I don't own Ryan but I did have a dog like Ziggy when I was young.

Read more...Collapse )

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